BDSM vs The World

Hiya you sexy smutty beings,

How goes things?
I know, fucking ok, its been a fuuuuucking long time. I mean really, shit happens. It’s called life. Yeah yeah (I can hear the bitching and moaning).
I have a question though and to my defence, this may be why I have been away for while.
Question (This is regional – Cape Town)
Why is it so fuckng hard to find someone in the BDSM world for my guy to explore with. (because I cannot, for obvious reasons. We are in a relationship of sorts)
So, here’s my dilemma.
There is 0-none places you can go to, to have have fun in this world.
There is 0-none sites (Genuine sites) to check out where like minded people can go to explore. To start out. To be taught.
Are there any Doms/Dommes out there not trying to fill their pockets doing something they love? Everything is comes at a cost which I don;t mind but jeez these people are crazy!! We’re not about to help you pay your bond / mortgage.
My guy and I have been collectors of sorts over the past 2.5 years. From strap ons to drilling holes in my garage walls so that we can explore together.
The dichotomy (his go to word) is this.
Before him I was a Domme. I would perform in “the house” (I cannot name where, who or what I was doing in said house)
Anyway, Fastforward my life through my divorce and with almost teen kids, that was a thing of the past.
Here I am now with a guy that finally shares the same interests. We click. We Match. Problem is we were in a relationship first before my other side appeared. He loved it when I finally introduced it. I started off slowly. Fucking him anally first with fingers. Then introducing a plastic friend and that friends invited other friends and those friends invites there best mates.
Fast forward 2 years and I am at a point I cannot take him on his journey of curiosity any further. Because of our relationship and the fact that we love each other I need someone else to step in and give him what I cannot because I love him way too much.
He’s the chirpy kind. Professional and an intellect and I want to ring his neck most days.
My problem is, I cannot treat him as my sub. HE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND. I know his career, understand his family dynamics, know his lifestyle. Take me out if the equation and he will then have to (as one would say) “Suck it up butter cup.”
So, question is…. Where do I find a place or someone to help him through his journey and before you call me a selfish cunt, this is not OUR journey. It is HIS. He needs to get through it. I have been there and I cannot go back as long as our relationship is alive and kicking.
1.) I send him on his merry way for him to explore on his own?
2.) I guide him through his journey?
3.) I have someone teach him with under my supervision? (I feel this is selfish and I’ll tarnish the process)
The answer is easy… 2 or 3. Right?
Wrong!
The BDSM world do not have room for couples like us. I am their gray area. They do not like people like me. I mess with their OCD. Their structure. Their System. Their control.
So what to do???
Dare I ask say that times are changing?
Dare I say the rules should be relaxed?
There is nothing out there for people like me…
Or should I say, ‘Watch this space’.
#Spanks #Licks #Wanks & #Blows
No longer Mrs S…

2 thoughts on “BDSM vs The World

  1. darkelfreporting says:

    Ok, so knowing absolutely nothing about the BDSM world, with little to no comprehension of the dom/sub relationship and it’s rules, here is my take.
    Realistically you have to ask yourself what do you want? What about the thought of a dom /sub relationship do you want and don’t you want? Ask yourself why can you not make it work and how could you make it work?
    If you are in a loving relationship then the must be rules, whether those rules deal with how you deal with the vanilla aspects of your life or how you deal with the “other side”.
    Surely if either of you are aroused by the concept of being a dom or a sub (even better if you both are) then that is a good place to start. I mean honestly. You set aside a weekend for role play and Monday morning we all go back to work and nobody is the wiser. How is that different to going to a house and having somebody do that to you? (Paying for that experience might detract from the enjoyement of that experience)
    Ultimately life is about rules. BDSM is that to the next level. Have fun, make love, get punished for a chirp.
    In my opinion all of this develops trust and intimicy. And isn’t that what we ulitmatelynwant from our relationship? Surely you don’t want to give that intimacy away to somebody else?
    Then again, I know nothing of being a dom/sub so I could be completely wrong…
    Either way, it’s just sex. Have fun while you can…

    Like

  2. Rikki says:

    I am the guy to whom Mrs Smut refers. What she says is true. There is a problem. I want to explore and I understand the constraints that she has.

    I want to feel some pain, be humiliated and dip further into that world. Options – limited!

    It seems the only option is that I must bid Ms Smut goodbye for a lengthy period and join a club( house). What this entails I do not know as she will not disclose it and I accept that. Those are the rules although she is no longer part of it. I do not question her.

    Surely there must be another option? This is what we want- is the only option to join a club or is there an alternative? What I cannot understand is that there appears to be no alternatives? Privacy and no money is what is required- I do not mind people making cash out of fulfilling a role but some of the $ mentioned are insane!!
    Do houses apply one size fits all – is it time for change – I do not know – Ms Smut cannot be expected to I tell me about it and I will not ask in respect of her and the house ( I do not know it).
    I want to move forward in service but we do not fit the mound – what do we do. What do I do?
    Please help! Is it a house or but or must I expect it is pro Domme or bust?
    I want to explore. The fact that Ms Smut is prepared to grant me this is an incredible gesture – only that will allow us to take things to a new level.
    I am an independent thinker and do chirp – that should excite and be seen as a challenge…
    Is there anybody out there who wants to shape and mould and please Ms Smut or must I accept hat I must try and join a club?
    This is a real issue – can the gray area be accommodated – I am too inexperienced to venture an opinion.
    Is there anyone out there?
    Rikki

    Like

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